WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though the U.S. national debt officially surpassed $40 trillion this week, Congress was quick to assure Americans that the issue could be easily fixed by spending more money.
Concerns have grown over the nation's accelerating rate of accumulating debt, which sat at $19 trillion just 10 years ago. Members of Congress sought to allay those fears by explaining to the public that there was a plan to spend a bunch of money to fix everything.
"It's just like in poker: you've got to bet chips to win chips," explained House Speaker Mike Johnson. "I'm kidding, I've never played poker. Gambling is a sin. Anyhow, we have worked with our Senate counterparts to create a bill that will fix the national debt by spending $17 trillion more dollars. It's a foolproof plan."
Some economists argued that spending more money could actually increase the national debt, but Congress has flatly rejected such claims. "The only way to get out of debt is to get into more debt. It's simple math," said Senator Tammy Baldwin. "If it doesn't work, there's an easy solution: spend even more money. Eventually, it has to fix things."
At publishing time, Congress had unveiled the text of the Making Our Money Outpace National Expenditures Yearly (MOMONEY) Act.
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