TEHRAN — As yet another massive bombing attack from Israeli forces rained down on the Iranian capital after the most recent failed wave of retaliatory strikes, sources said the leadership of Iran had started to regret putting "ol' Blind Mohammed" in charge of aiming all the missiles.
Though the elderly blind sheikh had been the surprise choice to direct Iran's missile counterstrike operations following Israel's attack late last week, leaders were reportedly now second-guessing the decision due to his lack of sight and apparent inability to hit any targets of significant consequence.
"In hindsight, having someone with eyesight direct the strikes would have been better," said spokespersian Ahmad Jafari. "This may seem like it would have been common sense at the start, but we all have a soft spot for Ol' Blind Mohammed, and we wanted to let him have a role in our retaliatory strikes against our enemies. We thought he might be decent, but once he started firing off missiles willy-nilly in all directions, we immediately suspected that we had made a big mistake."
When reached for comment, Ol' Blind Mohammed stood by his performance. "All things considered, I feel I have done quite well," he said while facing the opposite direction from the journalist questioning him. "I don't need to know exactly where the missiles are going as long as I fire them with the intent of hitting Israel. Others may be able to see, but they cannot match my ferocity."
At publishing time, the Iranian military was also reportedly reconsidering the decision to give the lead pilot position for upcoming air force bombing strikes to Farhad "No Arms" Hosseini.
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