President Trump announced an exciting new Trump-class battleship that will be the largest, fastest, and most powerful battleship fleet in the world.
The Babylon Bee has obtained an exclusive schematic of this formidable new war machine:
Additional features not pictured will include:
19" solid gold cannons: Way better than the Yamato's puny 18.1" cannons.
Escalator the Captain can use for big announcements: Order men to their battle stations in style.
Loudspeakers play YMCA to start every morning: The Village People promote a warrior spirit.
State-of-the-art detention center where prisoners are held in place by magnets: All the best detention centers use magnets.
Galley where McRib is served all year round: Proper nourishment is important for our warfighters.
When it's a full moon, the crew turns into skeletons: Sweet!
Novelty gift shop where you can buy Art of the Deal and other Trump merchandise: The crew is sure to love this feature.
Special spot on the prow where Trump can yell, "I'm king of the world!": To own the libs.
Absolutely remarkable. The Trump-class will make our Navy the envy of the world.
These friendly Christian extremists have gotten out of hand.
