WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House confirmed that presidential powers will be briefly transferred to Kamala Harris while President Biden undergoes a colonoscopy to find out what's stuck in his butt. 

In a statement to the press, Kamala thanked President Biden for entrusting her with the fate of the country during those few hours.

"Thank you Joe, the country is in good hands," Kamala began. "In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair! HAHA HAHA HAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" 

The press pool just sat there in stunned silence as Kamala's voice deepened and she began uttering the black speech of Mordor and glowing a sickly green.

Sources say that President Biden is expected to be just fine and back in power in a few hours. VP Harris's approval rating is now at 3%. 

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.