ST. LOUIS, MO — Witnesses report that Micah Rupe was granted instant sainthood after he properly installed a car seat without cussing even once.
According to Leah Rupe, Micah's wife, her husband received a halo and the beatitude of God's faithful saints after he managed to install their 1-year-old's car seat without saying one dirty word or even punching the seat in anger.
"The heavens opened as he finished buckling it in," Leah recalled. "And a voice sounded, saying 'Well done, my good and faithful servant, for you have not let unclean words escape from your lips even as sweat poured from your brow while the little buckle failed to clip in to the bar for the 37th time. Receive the crown prepared for you from before the foundation of the world.' I looked over at Micah, and his face was aglow with holiness and light."
Sources say that Micah fell to his knees in awe, protesting his humble unworthiness and praising the grace which had allowed him to courageously endure the wracking torments of getting his hand wedged behind the car seat innumerable times.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, even not curse the day of my birth when trying to adjust these straps," Micah cried out. "May God be glorified in my suffering!"
At publishing time, Micah's sainthood had been gravely tested after realizing he installed the car seat backwards.
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