WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a clever, covert attempt to get back at Barack Obama for spying on him during his 2016 presidential campaign, President Donald Trump donned a pizza delivery guy costume and knocked on the door of one of Obama's houses.
"Mama mia, pizza delivery for ah-you!" Trump said in a faux Italian accent as a confused Obama opened the door at 10 in the morning. "It's a-me, Donatello, with-ah the best-ah pizza you-ah ordered, oui?"
A suspicious Obama shouted for Michelle and the girls, asking if anyone had ordered a pizza. Trump was allowed to stand in the entryway as Obama walked around the massive house, asking his butlers, assistants, and family members who had ordered a pizza at 10 in the morning.
The crafty president-turned-spy used this opportunity to begin bugging the house. He took off his backward hat and put on a pair of Spy Gear laser sight goggles he had purchased in the Walmart toy section. He opened the pizza boxes, which were actually filled with advanced spy equipment. He set a wooden mallard with a recording device taped to the bottom on an entryway table and installed a baby monitor in the corner. Trump also flipped on the Obamas' big screen TV and hurriedly scribbled down their Netflix watch history on a notepad.
"Oh, this is rich," Trump muttered as he saw the Obamas have watched every episode of Fuller House.
"We got em, repeat, we got em," Trump said into a Spy Gear walkie talkie to Mike Pence, who was waiting out in the getaway car.
Suddenly, Michelle Obama walked into the room and asked what Trump was doing. With the reflexes of a jungle cat, the master spy sent parmesan cheese flying into her face. As she was distracted and unable to see, Trump leaped out the window into a shrubbery, quickly untangled himself, and jumped into his waiting "Don's Pizza" car to make his getaway.