WASHINGTON, D.C. — Candidates for House Speaker have met their first serious challenger: a recent Asgardian immigrant named Thor Odinson, God of Thunder.
Pelosi was handed the gavel but was unable to lift it. Other congresspeople from both sides of the aisle tried their hand, but they too were found unworthy, being unable to even budge the small wooden hammer. Several congresspeople claimed the gavel burned their hands as they attempted to lift it.
Finally, "a man who looked like a cross between a pirate and an angel" burst through the roof of the House Chamber and approached the gavel.
"I believe you'll find I'm worthy," he declared with a wink. Awestruck congresspeople watched as Odinson lifted the gavel on high and bellowed to the heavens, lightning coursing through the hole in the roof and charging up his gavel.
Odinson's tenure as Speaker of the House was short-lived, however, as he was quickly detained by ICE agents.