IKEA Debuts $19 Pulpit: The Spyrgeün
Church · Aug 15, 2018 · BabylonBee.com

LEIDEN, NETHERLANDS - Popular home furniture manufacturer and retailer IKEA has entered the competitive church furnishing market with its very first explicitly Christian offering: "The Spyrgeün," a pulpit starting at just $19 for churches on a budget.

The Spyrgeün comes in a variety of colors, such as white, teal, bright yellow, and pink, and is available in sizes ranging from much too small to just a little bit too small. "We know many churches are already using IKEA furniture to decorate their youth rooms, coffee shops, and foyers," said an IKEA spokesperson. "But now we're setting our sights on the holy grail of church furniture: the worship center."

The company is hopeful that the idea will catch on, allowing IKEA to begin providing small, uncomfortable pews for a fraction of the price of regular pews, communion tables, and those imposing stage chairs the church elders sit on to glare at the pastor while he's preaching.

While this is the first time the retailer will be selling church pulpits, IKEA isn't unfamiliar with the Christian market: in 2010, the very first IKEA Restaurant opened in the foyer of Lakewood Church, allowing parishioners to enjoy inexpensive Swedish meatballs and other dishes after the service.

At publishing time, IKEA reps had confirmed shipping the Spyrgeün takes approximately 1-2 weeks, while assembling the pulpit will take an estimated 18 weeks with two adults working together.


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