OAK FALLS, NY—Local Christian man Brad Lensley says he would take a bullet for his faith.
"If Christianity were illegal, I would boldly stand up for Jesus and be imprisoned or die for my faith," he told reporters. "I'm not one to shy away from boldly identifying myself with Jesus and the gospel. In a completely hypothetical scenario where someone comes up to me and threatens to shoot me for believing in God, I would definitely be brave enough to take a stand for Him."
However, investigative reporters have confirmed that Lensley always feels "a little awkward" when he has to pray for his meal in public, so he usually just won't do it. On the rare occasions when he does, the man times his prayers so that the waiter won't come back and interrupt it, which would create a little bit of an awkward situation. He's also careful to pray quietly so that no one looks at him funny.
"I mean, I don't want it to get weird," he said, shrugging. "Can you imagine if we were in the middle of the prayer and the waiter asked us if we needed anything else?" Lensley shuddered. "That'd be soooo off-putting, and I don't want to make things uncomfortable."