TALLAHASSEE, FL — Local millennial James Carter sighed heavily and opened his laptop Tuesday in preparation to google "What Is Brat?"
"Ugh, I don't feel up for this, but here we go," Carter told himself. "This will only take a minute. Let's do this. Looks like ‘Brat' is some sort of rap song or something but it's also a term for a hip lady or person but also can mean ‘cool or fly'...are people still using the word ‘fly'? I feel like I know less now than I did before I Googled it."
Kamala Harris's team seized upon the trending term as her campaign worked in its early days to relate to young voters. "Kamala is brat" merchandise sprung up overnight, prompting many over the age of 25 to take to Google to learn what the term means.
"I guess it's like, a girl, or maybe a guy, who wears trendy clothes and…oh, wait NPR says it has something to do with a Bic lighter and a pack of cigarettes…is Kamala a smoker? I'm so confused," Carter remarked. "I've watched a few videos but I really don't have the energy for this right now. Oh, also, can someone please explain to me what ‘black girl magic' is? At this point, I'm scared to ask."
As of publishing time, Carter was trying to research what "Skibidi rizz" meant, a task that was coming close to giving him a brain aneurysm.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
