Down at the VFW today, the boys were saying that some boneheads used a bunch of test tubes to make an extinct wolf come back to life. As if what we needed in this country was more wolves! These so-called "scientist" bums haven't done anything good since penicillin.
How about instead of fooling around with a little pup who couldn't hack it in nature, these big-brain scientists try making young men who aren't little sissy boys?
What's really extinct around here is red-blooded American men, men who build log cabins with their bare hands and fight in wars before they get their driver's license. We need youths who want to find the headwaters of the Nile or even just wear a good, old-fashioned, broad-brimmed hat. What we got is a bunch of prissy little Axe-spraying whiny babies who choke on cigarettes and want to talk about their feelings.
If the scientists are so smart, they'll stop trying to make wooly mammoths and just make a young man who can grow a beard. They spent probably a billion dollars to bring something back to life, and they picked some wolf because of a good-for-nothing television program about dragons. These little fellas in their fancy lab coats need to stop making fruity little dogs and make us some men who can swing a pick-axe. Get to work on bringing back men who care more about expeditions to the North Pole than about expeditions to the tanning salon.
And buy a hat while you're at it.
Meet Juan. He came to this country with a dream to commit crime. This is his story.
