FORT WORTH, TX — A hotel located just outside the historic Fort Worth Stockyards is now serving breakfast during the reasonable times of 4:57 to 5:03, which hotel management advertises as "reasonable."

The Rustic Inn, a staple of the Fort Worth area, offers a full continental breakfast, complete with a waffle machine your children can accidentally burn themselves on, included with the room's price. Guests are invited to serve themselves as well as order from the omelet bar, which opens later at 5:24 AM on Tuesdays and Saturdays during months that begin with "M."

"A free breakfast is a great incentive for travelers," said hotel manager Billy Lupin. "And what better time to eat than the crack of dawn? It helps keep you regular."

According to an unofficial hotel survey, a number of guests did indeed choose The Rustic Inn because of the free breakfast, but questioned the hotel's claims that the service window was "reasonable."

"I was up late doing Texas things," lamented one guest from Wisconsin. "I don't want to wake up at 5 AM for breakfast. I'm on vacation!"

"I fail to see the problem," Lupin argued. "I eat breakfast every day starting at 4:57 sharp because of my severe OCD."

"If you take more than six minutes to eat your bacon will get cold!"

At publishing time, The Rustic Inn had yet to serve a single guest breakfast.

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