LAKE CHARLES, LA — During a recent church service, local man Mick Cowlick found himself in an awkward position when he kept bowing his head, then peeking up to see if the Pastor was praying or preaching.
"Last week, I fell for the oldest trick in the book – the ol' prayer fake-out. Not this time!" Cowlick muttered to himself, eyewitnesses in adjacent pew seats confirmed. Testimony from the previous week indicates that Cowlick had been embarrassed after his wife elbowed him and hissed to "bow your head dummy, it's prayer time" when he was caught gazing slack-jawed at the pastor during prayer time the previous week.
Footage from the live sermon feed reveals the source of confusion, with the pastor's words being interpretable as directed at either God or at the congregation. "We come before this table with open hands and open hearts – we know that our passage, Philippians 2:1-11, demonstrated the Encouragement to humility, the Example of humility, and the Exaltation from humility. We know that Christ's ‘emptying' of himself, the Greek word ‘kenosis,' has a specific and often-misunderstood meaning…" Additional analysis of the video indicates that the stakes were heightened due to it being communion Sunday, when prayers meld seamlessly into instructions for taking the elements, then back into small sermon recaps.
Our reporters reached out to Mr. Cowlick for comment, and he reiterated his accusation that Grace Reformed Redeemer Assembly has a long history of "dirty tricks." "This is the least of it – it's even worse when the worship leader leans into the mic, pretends he's about to start the next verse, then pulls back for 12 more measures of a surprise interlude – I'm left looking like a FOOL when I bellow out the next verse of ‘A Mighty Fortress Is Our God' all by myself!"
At publishing time, the pastor finally resolved the ambiguity by saying "Now bow your heads and let's pray" before continuing to reiterate points from the sermon towards God for several minutes, ensuring God did not miss any of the main points.
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