Historians Find 'He Gets Us' Billboards Early Church Put Up In The Colosseum
Church · Oct 17, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

ROME — Historians studying the Colosseum in Rome may have uncovered evidence of a first-century "He Gets Us" billboard that was hung over the arena. Experts speculate it was designed to help the controversial figure Jesus appeal to a much wider audience of arena attendees.

"While we used to think people were drawn in by the powerful witness of Christian martyrs whose faith never wavered as they were eaten by lions in the Colosseum, it's now clear that it was these cool billboards that did the trick," said Roman Historian James Scott Williams. "These winsome billboards must have played a large role in the growth of the early church."

Researchers believe the first such billboards were commissioned while the apostle Paul was under house arrest in Rome. "There is evidence that Paul wrote several letters denouncing the ads as 'extremely annoying,' but those letters were sadly lost," said Williams.

"It's a remarkable discovery!" Early Church Historian Roberto Italiano said. "Just imagine all the Christians being inspired as they were slaughtered by gladiators or gored by rhinos. It's beautiful."

The Catholic Church has reportedly dispatched priests to the site to verify the authenticity of the discovery and secure the holy relic in the Vatican.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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