THE ARK — After being sealed in for what felt like ages, Noah's wife Naamah has started to wonder whatever happened to all the dinosaurs they let on the ark.
"Hey Noah, honey, have you seen any of the dinosaurs recently?" asked Naamah as she approached Noah who was in the middle of adding dry rub seasoning to a 37-foot-long rack of ribs. "I remember we spent all that time and effort getting the darn things on here, now I'm wondering where they could have gone. How do you misplace a massive 5-ton beast anyway?"
"Gee, sweetie I don't know. That IS awfully strange, but I'm sure they'll turn up eventually," replied Noah nervously as he spun a large chunk of meat that resembled the left leg of a velociraptor over the fire. "Hey um, for dinner I was thinking we could have some tricera-chops — I mean pork chops for dinner. How's that sound?"
According to sources, Noah and his sons missed all the BBQs they used to do before the Great Flood and simply couldn't go another day without firing up the grill for a T-rex T-bone or a stegosaurus steak. Unfortunately, one thing led to another before they realized they'd just eaten their way through the entire dino kingdom.
At publishing time, Noah was spotted unloading a smoker with tender, juicy pterodactyl brisket that had been smoking for 40 days and 40 nights.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
