Here Is A Top-Secret List Of Biden's Anticipated Cabinet Picks

Biden insiders have contacted the Babylon Bee to reveal some of his top cabinet picks. Wow! They must really like us. Take a look at the list below for a revealing look at the next administration. 

AOC - Secretary of Math

Jeb Bush - Secretary of Energy

Hunter Biden - Secretary of Treasury

Pete Buttigieg - Secretary of Gay Stuff 

Nikole Hannah-Jones - Secretary of Education

Ibram X. Kendi - Secretary of Re-Segregation

Rachael Maddow - Secretary of Defense

CNN President Jeff Zucker - Secretary of Ending The Pandemic

Keith Olbermann - Secretary of Mental Health

Chinese President Xi Jinping - U.S. Trade Representative

Jane Fonda - Secretary of Veterans Affairs

Petro Poroshenko - Secretary of... not sure yet but we'll get him in somewhere

Don Lemon - Director of National Intelligence

Any female of color - Secretary of Diversity

Bernie Sanders - Secretary of Labor

Carole Baskin - Secretary of Health and Human Services

Elizabeth Warren - Director of Bureau of Indian Affairs, duh

Gavin Newsom - Secretary of Transportation

Trump - Secretary of Nicknaming Stuff

Bob Brown - Secretary of White House Handicap Accessibility 

Dale Smith - Secretary of White House Maintenance and Telling the President Whatever Those Flyover State People Are Up To

Amber Carter, R.N. - Secretary of Reminding Biden What His Name Is

Chef Gordon Ramsay - Secretary of Crushing Up Meds Into Biden's Applesauce 

This list, according to experts, is entirely plausible. We hope you've enjoyed this super exclusive peek into Joe Biden's administration!