U.S. — As November's hotly contested presidential election draws near, supporters of Vice President Kamala Harris were reportedly trying to figure out how they were supposed to convert their joy into groceries.
While the Harris-Walz campaign continued to trumpet its mantra that it was ushering in a national movement of "joy," voters in favor of Harris's election were searching for the proper method of conversion that would allow them to use excess joy to provide for the basic necessities of life like food, clothing, housing, and gas.
"Can anyone tell us what the current joy-to-groceries exchange rate is?" asked Stephanie Dean, a Kamala Harris supporter from Denver, Colorado. "I get that Kamala is all about spreading the joy — and I'm totally in favor of it — but I'm starting to kind of wonder if spreading all this joy will eventually make it cheaper to buy food for my family. Kamala will set up joy-to-groceries exchange locations, right?"
Leading experts had not yet reached a consensus regarding converting joy into groceries and other goods or services. "We're still analyzing the situation," said economist Stephen Rector. "Attempting to predict the future value of joy as a currency is very much speculative at this time. If I were pressed to give an answer right now, I'd say people may have difficulty purchasing food with joy. Time will tell."
At publishing time, the Harris-Walz campaign denied reports that it was also working on a proposal to begin taxing joy if Kamala Harris is elected president.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
