U.S. — Shortly after the loss of blue Twitter checkmarks, an elderly man named "Joe" was caught impersonating the President of the United States.
"This is exactly the sort of thing we warned Elon about!" said Alyssa Milano, mourning the loss of her own checkmark. "What if people really thought this demented old geezer was President? Millions could die!"
Users reported the suspected Presidential impersonator within hours of the change to Twitter's verification policy. "No way this is real," said Czech citizen Radek Svoboda. "My English is not so good, but I am sure this man is not speaking real sentences. Plus, he just confused a rugby team with a terrorist organization. What if someone thought this account was real?"
Sources at Twitter have reportedly apologized for the incident, admitting there are still kinks to be worked out. "That's obviously our bad," said Twitter engineer Sudhir Shenoy. "Our algorithm should have flagged the bizarre ramblings of an old man as obviously incongruous with his claimed identity. We regret this entire 'Joe' incident, and hope no harm came of the impersonation."
At publishing time, reports had surfaced of multiple hospitalized elderly people claiming to be Senators.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!