PORTLAND, OR - In a miraculous event unheard of since Joshua led the Israelites against the Amorite armies, the Lord intervened in time-space history Sunday morning to stop the rotation of the earth for an entire day, so that local worship leader Jayden "Van Halen" Utley could finish giving his lengthy introduction to a worship song.

"Hey guys, I just wanted to share with you the cool things the Lord has done in my life," Utley began, "that led me to choosing this song to play for you in worship this week. It all started when I was four years old, and my dad took me on a fishing trip in the backwoods of rural Tennessee."

As Utley went on and on about the myriad reasons he had for selecting "Good, Good Father" to be part of the song rotation that morning, the congregation expected night to fall at any moment, but it never came, as the Lord had miraculously extended the length of the day.

"This brings us to the teenage years, when the Lord started laying the seeds that would blossom into my decision to play 'Good, Good Father' for you all this morning," Utley said about sixteen hours into his song introduction.

When the worship leader finally got to the point and began playing the song almost twenty-four hours later, the Lord commanded the earth and all other celestial bodies to continue their rotations and revolutions, His sovereign will having been accomplished.