NASHVILLE, TN - This Tuesday, a woman called in to "The Dave Ramsey Show" under compulsion from concerned relatives. Dave Ramsey, the show's host, listened to her explanation of how she landed in $51,600 of credit card debt and then told her "Go and spend no more."
"You spent HOW much??? On an income THAT small? You're BROKE, and you're in DEBT - looks like it's beans and rice, rice and beans, and get on the baby steps until you're DEBT FREE, buster!" Listeners reported having to turn the volume down on their radios as Ramsey bellowed at the hapless caller. "You need to live below your means, buddy, otherwise I'll come down there and brand you with a 'Chapter 13 Bankruptcy' cattle branding iron myself!"
Sources confirm that the initial speaker on the call was one of the woman's relatives, and that he and other family members had called into the show as part of an intervention. When Ramsey caught that she had been dragged before him, caught in the act of buying herself another "Treat Yourself" skincare & mani-pedi gift basket, his tone softened toward the woman. "Oh, I see now - you BOZOS have brought this woman to me to shame her. Is that it? How many of you have never bought a STUPID set of golf clubs or a DUMB boat on a credit card?" Listeners confirmed total silence from the callers, who sounded like they slunk away in shame.
At publishing time, Ramsey was explaining that she needed to "act her wage" and "get on a BUDGET." He also pledged to fund her through "Financial Peace University" so she could get on the baby steps and live like no one else today so she could live like no one else tomorrow.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.