Fox News Confirms There Is Absolutely No News Today

NEW YORK, NY—While other news organizations were reporting on Michael Flynn pleading guilty to lying to the FBI and offering a willingness to testify against President Trump regarding his 2016 campaign’s ties with Russia, conservative media outlet Fox News chimed in Friday morning to confirm there is absolutely no news going on today.

“We checked with all our top news people, exhausted all of our most trusted sources, and they unanimously confirmed there is nothing going on at all,” the crew of Fox & Friends reported. “Looks like we’re all just gonna head home early today. We’ll try again tomorrow I guess.”

At publishing time, Rush Limbaugh had cancelled his afternoon news program, confirming there was just nothing to talk about today.