Fox News Calls Arizona For Stacey Abrams
Politics · Nov 8, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

PHOENIX, AZ — In a shocking turn of events, data analysts at Fox News have called the gubernatorial race in Arizona for Stacey Abrams.

"Yes, we are aware that Stacey Abrams isn't even running in Arizona, but we have top analysts working on this and the data does not lie," said Fox News polling expert Arnon Mishkin. "Stacey Abrams is your new governor. The election is over. You can all go home now. Goodnight!"

Poll workers were reporting pandemonium at several key voting locations as voting machines mysteriously stopped working, but the chaos immediately subsided after they announced that Abrams had won so there was no need to vote.

"Whew! I thought I was going to have to wait in line all day for them to fix the machines, but then Fox News called the election! What a relief!" said one local voter who asked not to be named. "Thanks, Fox News!"

At publishing time, Fox had also revealed that Joe Biden had been elected governor of Georgia.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job:

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more guffaw-inducing chucklefests!

Comments

There are 157 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.