Court Flips Coin To See If Texas Allowed To Enforce Laws Today
U.S. · Mar 20, 2024 ·

U.S. — Leaders in the Lone Star State awoke this morning eager to learn how they would be able to address the border crisis as a federal court once again flipped a coin to see if Texas would be allowed to enforce laws today.

The daily routine, consisting of finding out whether law enforcement officers would have the power to enforce laws depending on the whims of different federal judges, has swung wildly from one day to the next, leaving Texas officials wondering which side of the argument currently had the advantage.

"Step right up for the daily coin flip to determine if laws can be enforced!" shouted the bailiff as the court session began. "Place your bets on whether or not the court will rule that laws actually exist for a specific purpose or if they're just arbitrary statements written mindlessly in a book somewhere for no reason."

With thousands of migrants crossing the border illegally each day and the federal government refusing to take action, Texas sought to create its own solutions before hitting legal roadblocks. "It's actually become a fun game," one Texas official said. "We make bets. Steve over there had made a killing. It's a toss-up every day as to whether we can enforce laws or not."

At publishing time, the federal court was reportedly preparing to install a large game show-style wheel in the courthouse to generate even more excitement and suspense for the daily decision on whether Texas was allowed to keep itself from being invaded by foreign countries.

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