U.S. — As negative reviews of the newest Disney+ Star Wars series continued to appear across social media platforms, the Federal Bureau of Investigation assured Americans that they are closely monitoring anyone who didn't like The Acolyte.
Authorities were reportedly on high alert and asked all responsible citizens to be on the lookout for any suspicious signs of someone having a negative opinion of The Acolyte and report any such activity to their local FBI office immediately.
"We are taking this very seriously," said FBI Director Christopher Wray. "There have been numerous instances of people posting negative reviews of The Acolyte all over social media and passing on their dislike of the show via word-of-mouth. We are watching closely to identify the perpetrators and bring them to justice."
The latest Disney+ Star Wars series was plagued by poor reactions from viewers, leading to shockingly low scores on rating aggregate websites and other people choosing to skip watching it altogether. "I heard it was gay," said Star Wars fan Josh De Voe. "Somebody told me it was woke and had pronouns and stuff. It doesn't sound like something I would be interested in watching. I'll pass."
The FBI released a statement describing the online backlash over The Acolyte as the single greatest domestic threat currently facing the United States.
At publishing time, federal agents had reportedly visited De Voe's home a few hours later to question him about his comments before leading him out in handcuffs to be transported to an undisclosed location.
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