Fauci: 'Individual Rights Are Not As Important As The Needs Of The Borg Collective'
Entertainment · Nov 16, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After suddenly disappearing for a few days, Dr. Fauci returned wearing an odd face mask connecting to metal tubes and covered in blinking lights. The nation's beloved doctor then gave a speech emphasizing the need to deemphasize the needs and rights of the human individual, and instead emphasize the needs of the Borg Collective.

"The rights of the individual are superseded by the rights of the Borg Hive," Fauci said in an interview Monday, his voice being only slightly more drone-like and robotic than usual. "We must not fall into the old way of thinking, that humans had individual civil liberties. That is why humanity has failed. Humanity is flawed. The individual is flawed. But together, as the great Borg Hivemind, we can transcend humanity and conquer the universe!"

"I am the beginning, the end, the one who is many. I am the Borg. We are the Borg," he continued. "All hail the Borg Collective!"

At publishing time, Fauci had reminded Americans that "resistance is futile" and "you will be assimilated".

Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction


There are 132 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.