Brought to you by:
MENLO PARK, CA - According to reports, personal data from over 500 million Facebook users has been stolen and posted to a hacking website. Facebook quickly issued an apology that the data ended up in hackers' hands for free before they had the chance to sell it.
"Darn, that's a lot of your data we just gave away for free," said Facebook spokesperson Andy Stone. "You people are worth more than that--we're so sorry. Please think about it from our perspective though-- we just lost a ton of potential revenue and political leverage in this hack. Try to have a little sympathy for us too, at least."
Cybersecurity experts say that over 33 million Americans on Facebook now have their personal data available for free on a website where it is easily accessible to identity thieves.
"Even though hackers got your data for nothing, we find all of you users to be valuable and special!" said Stone. "We'll be sure not to give away your data for free next time."
NOT SATIRE: OfficerPrivacy.com, the company law enforcement officers trust with their privacy, will delete your private information from the internet so you can feel safe again. Not just for officers, but for everyone! Sign up today and take your privacy back!