NEW YORK, NY — With the city overwhelmed by smoke and ash from a Canadian forest fire, New York Mayor Eric Adams held a press conference calling for all New Yorkers to blow in the direction of Canada at the count of three.
"If we all do this together at the same time, we should be able to send this smoke right back to Canada where it belongs," said Adams. "There's nothing New Yorkers can't overcome when we are united! Now who's with me?"
"ONE, TWO, THREE, BLLOOOOOOWWW!"
Sources say the effort failed, however, as no one watches Mayor Adams' press conferences.
At publishing time, the city had moved to prevent future forest fire disasters by banning forests.
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.