LONDON—The United Kingdom is a quaint little island country in Europe that speaks English as its primary language—much like the U.S. And while they’ve always thought a lot of themselves—even having a Queen, like something out of a fairy tale—the people there have just suffered a huge embarrassment, finally realizing that for years they’ve been using the wrong words for hundreds of different things.
It’s unclear how they’ve gone this long without realizing they’ve been talking like fools—perhaps Americans were just too polite to point it out to them. But finally, one Brit pointed to a food item and said, “I’ll have those biscuits.” And the American looked at him like he was an idiot and said, “Those aren’t biscuits. Those are crackers. Crackers. Biscuits are what you have with gravy.”
Word soon spread about how the British had that one word wrong, but then they found out it wasn’t just that word but hundreds more. “We’ve been calling the place where you store stuff in your car a ‘boot’ when it’s actually called a ‘trunk',” said one British man, “and we’ve been calling fries ‘chips’ and chips ‘crisps.’ And our word for a cigarette is highly offensive. We look like morons.”
And it’s not just that the British have been using wrong words — they realized they’ve also been spelling things wrong, often adding an extra ‘u’ where it isn’t needed. They’ve also been pronouncing things wrong, like aluminum.
“Bollocks!” was a common exasperated expression by the British upon realizing their embarrassment, though then an American had to point out that that’s not a real word.
The left, celebrities, and athletes will take money from China, but they sure don't like talking about China. Tap your foot to the hit song parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno"!