Elton John Announces Three-Year 'Farewell Twitter' Tour
Entertainment · Dec 12, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

LOS ANGELES, CA — Alleged right-wing conspiracy theorist and hatemonger Elon Musk has forced another celebrity to stand up for their convictions and leave Twitter. This time Sir Elton John has announced he is leaving Twitter for good with his much-anticipated three-year Farewell Twitter Tour.

This will be Elton John's seventh farewell tour.

"Twitter has become a veritable damp squib of hateful misinformation," said the famous singer best known for wearing glasses and singing some songs. "That is why, rather than collywobble about, I have decided to leave Twitter immediately, with an unprecedented three-year farewell Twitter tour. Tickets are on sale now."

The Grammy-winning singer added that Twitter was now a kerfuffle of misinformation-filled tweets like, "Rocket Man is a dumb song," and "Elton John looks like my grandma's Bridge Club friends." He warned that others would leave the popular social network if Musk could not stem the tide of hateful content describing the singer as "looking like he smells like cheese."

At publishing time, Sir Elton John had been seen, along with all other celebrities who had threatened to leave Twitter, on Twitter.


Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.

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