WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a major breakthrough, scientists working at the White House excitedly confirmed Thursday that they have discovered the most fragile element in the known universe: President Donald Trump’s ego.
Scientists began to suspect the extreme fragility of the substance after observing that the slightest criticism would set Trump into a crazed rampage.
“Even the slightest breeze can shatter his brittle ego into a million pieces, so we don’t really blame him for getting defensive about it,” one of the study researchers told reporters. “If our sense of self-worth were that dependent on others’ opinions, we’d probably protect our pride and ego with as much raging furor.”
According to scientists, Trump was probably born with the condition, and learned to cope with the crippling vulnerability by lashing out at critics who would otherwise topple his confidence. This defense mechanism allowed him to prevent his ego from shattering into a million pieces each and every time even reasonable, level-headed criticism of his actions reached his ears.
“Really, we should feel bad for him. Just remember, you never really know what medical conditions and demons other people are battling on the inside,” the researcher added.