WASHINGTON, D.C.—While battling the darkest monster from the pit of hell, known as "Sleepy Joe," Donald the Orange fell to his doom last November, having been dragged into the depths of the earth by the deadly demon.
So Americans were ecstatic to learn that Donald the Orange has returned in a new, better form, now known as Donald the White. A brilliant white light shone from Mar-a-Lago as Donald the White approached the CPAC convention center just in time to save America from COVID, Antifa, and the Deep State.
"I come back to you now at the turn of the tide!" he cried as he rode triumphantly out in his limousine, codenamed "Shadowfax," cutting right through the ravenous hordes of Antifa counterprotesters crying and attempting to block the way. "Cry, you fools!" laughed Trump.
"Donald! Donald the Orange!" cried his supporters waiting in line outside CPAC.
"Yes..." he said as he sat in the back of Shadowfax. "Yes... Donald the Orange... that is what they used to call me." After weeks off of Twitter, the former president has a newfound passion for life and even more energy than before, though sources say he's also taken up smoking.
Donald the White says he will use his newfound powers to patrol the U.S.-Mexico border, shouting at would-be immigrants, "You shall not pass!"