OAKLAND, CA - Thoroughly baffled after losing game 7 to the Cleveland Cavaliers Sunday night despite his frequent assertion that he "can do all things through Christ who strengthens him" - which he assumed would include winning as many NBA titles as he desired - Stephen Curry reportedly pulled his Bible out of his locker and hastily flipped to Philippians 4:13 to make sure he had been reading his life verse correctly all these years, only to discover, much to his devastation, multiple additional verses before and after the text.
"Wait - what are all these other words?" sources reported Curry as exclaiming after the unbelievable loss which made the Golden State Warriors the first team in NBA history to surrender a 3 - 1 series lead in the NBA Finals. "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content," he slowly read aloud. "Seriously? In whatever situation?"
A shocked Curry reportedly then sat on the locker room floor in disbelief. "It doesn't mean that I can do anything at all because of Jesus? I . . . I can't believe it," he reportedly muttered to himself in horror.
At publishing time, sources confirmed that a wave of relief had washed over Curry as he realized that, while it would be nice for Philippians 4:13 to be an iron-clad promise that any believer can literally do anything because of Jesus, the meaning he now understands it to have because of the context - that Jesus is enough for any believer to be content in any situation he or she faces - is even better, "especially after the most disastrous Finals collapse in NBA history."