New Variant Found To Be Twice As Virulent And Blah Blah Blah Whatever Who Cares At This Point
Health · Jun 30, 2021 ·

U.S. - Scientists now warn that the new COVID-19 variant is, like, more contagious and also, like... other stuff about it. Some of them have brought up masks again. I'm sure you're rapt with attention about all this.

"It's really concerning," said some scientist named... I dunno. Who cares what his name is. Anyway, he went on for a while, but it all boiled down to... it's still the coronavirus, but now you're totally going to catch it for real this time. They are super double serious.

So if you're, like, one of those Karens who loved worrying about this sort of thing, now you have new reasons for that while everyone else goes back to normal. You can yell at people, "You have to be more concerned about the new COVID variant! THE NEW COVID VARIANT!" and everyone can just kind of nod at you and then ignore you as usual.

Anyway, they say the vaccine boosters are still effective against it, so I don't even know why we're still talking about this. Seen any good TV shows lately?

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