Debate Breakdown: Which Candidate Spent The Most Time Breathing Down A Woman's Neck?
Politics · Jun 28, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. — It's always interesting to take a look at the stats from political debates. In this week's democratic debates, for instance, you can easily compare the amount of time each candidate spent breathing down a woman's neck.

Joe Biden is the clear leader of the pack with 120 full minutes devoted to standing there creepily breathing down a woman's neck and giving her shoulders a rub. No other candidate even comes close, with every other candidate registering at 0, except for Pete Buttigieg, who somehow managed to spend negative five minutes breathing down a woman's neck.

As soon as the debate started, Biden took a commanding lead in minutes spent standing directly behind a woman and invading her personal space. The other candidates fought for their air time massaging a woman, but Biden beat them all back with his suit jacket like he was Benny Hinn himself. Say what you want about the guy's policies---he's a master space invader.

We're not sure if this is inherent bias on the part of the moderators or just Biden's natural charisma taking over, but it doesn't bode well for the other candidates. Next time they'll have to step up if they want to get a caress in edgewise!


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