Brought to you by: KingdomCare
As we all know, moms can occasionally be selfish and ask us dads to babysit our own children. Sad! If you ever find yourself in such an unfortunate situation, here are ten basics to keeping children alive until mom returns:
Food: Very helpful for survival. You can just spread some Cheerios around the ground, they'll take it from there.
Water: Luckily, chocolate milk is mostly water, according to science.
Bluey: Bluey can be the difference between life and death. Thousands of dads literally owe Bluey their lives.
Smacking the children with pillows: Pillow fights help maintain the familial hierarchy so necessary for survival.
Wood chips in the crib: In case baby needs to use the bathroom. It may not be pretty, but it will do until mom is back.
Addressing behavior issues by reading Sinners In The Hands Of An Angry God: Easy peasy.
Physical activity: Tell them to run around the tree in the backyard until they get tired and the last one standing gets $5. It will be the best $5 you'll ever spend in your life.
Hygiene: Ensure maximum cleanliness by sending the kids outside and turning on the sprinkler system.
Safety: Be sure they're using blunt tip arrows if they attempt to shoot an apple off of each other's heads.
Sleep: Sing that old VBS song "Shut The Door, Keep Out The Devil." Horrifying, yes, but they'll keep that door shut!
Well, there you — wait, what's little Jackson doing over there?? Go, get him! Quit reading this article, hurry!
NOT SATIRE: Connecting Christian Families With Christian Sitters
KingdomCare was created to connect Christian babysitters with Christian families who are in need of like-minded care for their children.
We are here to provide a wonderful opportunity for you to help build a community of faith-based childcare resources for parents and sitters.
If you are a babysitter looking to work with some great families, or a parent seeking like-minded and reliable childcare, KingdomCare has got you covered!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.