WILMINGTON, DE — Residents and staff at a local elder care facility were forced to stifle their laughter again this week, as a crazy old man who moved into the nursing home over a year ago kept telling people he was once the President of the United States.
Though he's known mostly as "Joe" around the facility, the man displayed no discernible characteristics that would lead anyone around him to believe his claims that he was once the leader of the free world.
"Sure, Joe. Sure you were, buddy," said an orderly at the nursing home. "I'm sure you were definitely the most powerful man in the world, sitting behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office and steering geopolitical affairs. I absolutely believe you. Now finish up your juice box so you can get to the rec room in time to watch Wheel of Fortune. You know you hate it when you miss it."
Despite the skepticism of everyone around him, the man was adamant that he was once the nation's chief executive. "It's true… all of it," he mumbled again. "I used… I was… I was once the guy who… that time in the… the place. They were all there. They told me… they said I… we finally beat Medicare. Can you believe it? There was a colored fella… or… no, that was the other time. A colored broad. She laughed a lot. She was… anyway."
At publishing time, the staff at the elder care facility had ushered the old man off to his room for his seventh nap of the day.
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