U.S. — Per tradition, fabulous rainbows promoting sexual deviance are being painted on the doorposts of office buildings and storefronts as corporations race to appease the woke gangs they hope will pass them by.
"It gets a little crazy out there this time of year," said Wal-Mart CEO Martin Wahl. "But if we do this, the woke gangs will ignore our terrible employee satisfaction and low wages."
"Please have mercy on us, LGBTQ+ community!"
Gay spokesman Neil Patrick Harris told businesses this month, "When we see the rainbow over your door we will overlook your past inequity and pass you by."
"We mean business. Remember Sears? Of course, you don't."
Drag Queen Spokesthey Ru Paul also echoed the sentiments of the gay community, warning that there will be such a cry in the U.S., such as has never been before and such as shall never be again. Until next year.
At publishing time, the corporations had been spared from the wrath of the woke gangs only to be looted by BLM gangs.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
