Confused By Your Husband's Cryptic Texts? Let The Babylon Bee Interpret Them For You
Family · Mar 18, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

Ladies, are you having a hard time knowing what your husbands' text messages really mean? Men are complicated creatures, so our relationship experts conducted a study to translate man texts into lady English.

Here's a complete guide to what your man is really saying when he sends you that text.


Text: Thumbs-up emoji

Translation: Cool.


Text: "K"

Translation: OK.


Text: "lol"

Translation: I am mildly amused but did not laugh.


Text: "Kids are fine"

Translation: I haven't seen the kids in an hour, I'm sure wherever they are they're fine.


Text: "Take your time"

Translation: I don't want you coming home early and catching me on my fifth Helldivers 2 match.


Text: "Do u know what aisle granola is in?"

Translation: I've been looking for your dang granola for 30 minutes now and I'm about to light the store on fire.


Text: Laughing emoji

Translation: I'm guessing this is the reaction I'd have if I watched the video you sent.


Text: "Got it"

Translation: I did not read your text and will be calling in 15 minutes to ask you a bunch of questions you already answered in great detail.


Text: "Do we have any bandaids?"

Translation: I'm bleeding to death in the garage.


Text: "You OK?"

Translation: I know you're not OK but I'm approaching you cautiously as though you were a wounded bear.


Easy! Since those are likely the only phrases your husband ever texts you, you'll now have no problem understanding what he's saying.


World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.

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