Confused By Your Husband's Cryptic Texts? Let The Babylon Bee Interpret Them For You

Family · Mar 18, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Confused By Your Husband's Cryptic Texts? Let The Babylon Bee Interpret Them For You

Ladies, are you having a hard time knowing what your husbands' text messages really mean? Men are complicated creatures, so our relationship experts conducted a study to translate man texts into lady English.

Here's a complete guide to what your man is really saying when he sends you that text.


Text: Thumbs-up emoji

Translation: Cool.


Text: "K"

Translation: OK.


Text: "lol"

Translation: I am mildly amused but did not laugh.


Text: "Kids are fine"

Translation: I haven't seen the kids in an hour, I'm sure wherever they are they're fine.


Text: "Take your time"

Translation: I don't want you coming home early and catching me on my fifth Helldivers 2 match.


Text: "Do u know what aisle granola is in?"

Translation: I've been looking for your dang granola for 30 minutes now and I'm about to light the store on fire.


Text: Laughing emoji

Translation: I'm guessing this is the reaction I'd have if I watched the video you sent.


Text: "Got it"

Translation: I did not read your text and will be calling in 15 minutes to ask you a bunch of questions you already answered in great detail.


Text: "Do we have any bandaids?"

Translation: I'm bleeding to death in the garage.


Text: "You OK?"

Translation: I know you're not OK but I'm approaching you cautiously as though you were a wounded bear.


Easy! Since those are likely the only phrases your husband ever texts you, you'll now have no problem understanding what he's saying.


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