Home > Tech > Climate Crisis Solved By New Jet That Runs On Liberal Hypocrisy
Tech
Climate Crisis Solved By New Jet That Runs On Liberal Hypocrisy

U.S.—The climate crisis has been getting worse, despite liberal elites' best efforts to fly all over the country in their private jets lecturing everybody about it.

There seemed to be no end in sight until a new tech startup, Hypocri-Fuel, introduced a private jet that runs on liberal hypocrisy.

"We just hook this bad boy up to Leo DiCaprio, Al Gore, Justin Trudeau, or any of the other thousands of progressive elites who refuse to change their lifestyles to match their beliefs, and presto -- plenty of fuel to go around," said the startup's CEO, Gus Perder. "One fuel-up can power a jet for over a year."

Perder said he was trying to figure out what resource the earth has that's nearly limitless when it hit him: the hypocrisy of rich lefties. "There is so much liberal hypocrisy to go around that we never have to worry about running out," he said. "Fossil fuels may go away in a few hundred years, and people are scared of nuclear, but we have an inexhaustible supply of liberal hypocrisy."

And every time one of these liberal elites gives a condescending Oscar speech or goes on a world tour in their private jet to tell people how bad they are for flying commercial and not running around in a Flinstones car, they're just generating more energy to power these new airplanes.

"It's a win-win for everybody -- liberals can keep lecturing people and actually be useful, and the rest of us can go on ignoring them while the planet cools substantially."

Breaking: PayPal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.