Church
Clever Churchgoers Avoid Arrest By Disguising Themselves As Rioters

LOS ANGELES, CA—Religious people in Southern California have found a bold, creative solution for in-person meetings in spite of the continuing lockdown. This past weekend, several area churches attended church services disguised as righteously indignant rioters.

"We already have the righteous indignation thing down," said one church elder. "Now, we've simply added black balaclavas, hoodies, Guy Fawkes masks, and baseball bats! We found that when we do this, we can meet in large groups without much interference from the local authorities. It's been a delightful experience."   

Leaders from Spirit-River In The City Church in LA County are reporting a successful Sunday service after using this method. Churchgoers were given bricks and fake Molotov cocktails before they surrounded the church with menacing looks on their faces. Several deacons then smashed some church windows to make the riot look more realistic. Unfortunately, onlookers grew suspicious when the massive group of rioters broke out into a round of the smash-hit worship song "Reckless Life Engulfment." Some of the attendees were forced to stage brawls in order to keep up appearances. 

According to sources, some churchgoers in the area are planning to continue wearing masks to church even after the lockdown has ended in order to hide their identities from Hollywood directors and producers.


Babylon Bee subscriber Dave Landers contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!

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