NEW YORK, NY — Watchers of the popular daytime talk program The View were treated to more insightful commentary on global issues this week, as guest Patti LuPone informed the show's audience that there is no difference between Christians and the Taliban, despite the fact that she would have been silenced, prevented from receiving an education, not allowed to uncover her face, and in all likelihood, already executed by the oppressive Islamic regime in Afghanistan.
"I don't see any difference," said the still-living and free-speaking actress. "Those Christians with their religious fanaticism and morality! I'm tired of the Christian Right in this country not allowing women in the United States to vote or drive cars or dress in anything other than a burqa! It's so totalitarian and intolerant!"
The actress then finished her appearance on the show before returning to the green room for catered refreshments, grabbing her gift bag, and receiving chauffeured limousine transportation back to her luxurious estate in Connecticut. The driver reported hearing Ms. LuPone spend the entire ride home continuing her rant against Christian oppression. "Yeah, she wouldn't stop talking about how horrible Christians are," the chauffeur said. "On and on about how they behead people they disagree with and everything. Crazy!"
When reached for comment, Afghan women living under the Taliban regime remained silent out of fear of being publicly beaten or having their extremities cut off.
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