KENTON, MA—Local baker Harold Mackerelli has updated his menu to sell only cakes that beg customers not to sue the crud out of him and his family. On the shop counter there is a binder of options presenting a wide variety of new cakes such as the "Please, I have a family" strawberry cake and "There's another shop across the street if you don't like Christians" coconut crumbles cake.
"We even have an option for big spenders," Mackerelli said, flipping to the last page of the cake menu, showing the "Fine, sue me for every penny I have. I give up" option. "That one has a great cream filling to die for. And you won't believe how good the caramel drizzle is."
Mackerelli says his best-selling cakes are those he created out of a place of overwhelming fear and desperation. Cakes that say things like, "Please, this shop is all I've got," and "All I ever wanted to do was serve my God and make cakes." "People eat that stuff up," Mackerelli told reporters.
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