U.S.—In a political move designed to garner the support of Christian housewives everywhere, President Trump announced Monday that he has hired Chip and Joanna Gaines to install shiplap all along the southern border wall.
The Gaines duo will freshen up the parts of the border that currently have fencing with attractive weathered shiplap in addition to installing the distressed barn paneling on new portions of the barrier the Trump administration hopes to build.
"We're really going to breathe some new life into this space to make it our own," Joanna Gaines said as she and Chip took a trip down to the border to see what they were looking at for the remodel. "I'm feeling like if we go with some shiplap in some neutral tones, that will really brighten up the space and give it a rustic feel."
An excited Chip Gaines attempted to knock down the current barrier with his sledgehammer but was crestfallen to learn the revitalization project didn't require demolition of any sort.
At publishing time, Trump had fired Chip and Joanna after they had decided they wanted the southern border to have an "open concept" feel.