U.S. - Chinese missionaries arrived on the shores of California today to bring the gospel to the "most unreached country in the world," America.

"We're always praying that God would bring the gospel to the dark land of America," said one missionary as he prepared to do street preaching in Santa Monica. "After much prayer, we decided to come here ourselves and teach these people who Jesus really is and what it means to follow Him."

The savages in America responded with hostility to the gospel, saying they believed in a deity who gives them lots of cool blessings but demands nothing in return. There was a lot of screeching and throwing things. Californians would have shot at them, but it was too hard to buy a gun so they threw spears and shot at them with bows and arrows.

"This 'Jesus' you Chinese Christians speak of seems like not a very cool guy," said one pastor in Santa Cruz. "The god we worship would never ask us to sacrifice, cause us to face persecution, or give us anything less than the best."

The missionaries have been chased off with pointy sticks, but they say they'll continue in prayer and return no matter the cost or risk of persecution and death in the savage wilds of America.