Children Threaten To Help

MAPLE BLUFFS, IA—Justin Daniels was painting the kitchen, already working hard to not drop paint on anything where paint didn’t go, when a further complication was added: His five-year-old and three-year-old sons expressed a desire to help.

“I knew instilling in my children a desire to help others was going to come back to haunt me,” Daniels told reporters. “I mean, can you imagine? It would take at least twice as long and I’d be cleaning paint off the counters for days.”

Daniels tried to come up with some menial tasks for the kids, such as putting painter's tape on things that didn’t particularly need it, but the children insisted on helping with the core task of painting.

“That’s when I came up with a brilliant idea,” Daniels said. “I told them I was so happy that they were such good children who wanted to help that I’d reward them with a new video game. It cost me sixty bucks, but it took away any desire they had to help anyone with anything.”

With the children playing their new video game, Daniels was able to paint in peace, other than his kids occasionally screaming at each other.

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