TIRUPPUR, INDIA - According to sources at a T-shirt factory in India, one child worker named Inesh said his spirits are always "really lifted" by all the pride merch he gets to make for major corporations every year.
All the workers look forward to Pride Month, sources say, because the whole T-shirt factory is brightened up by rainbow colors, a welcome shift from the usual solid-colored clothes and corporate logos the child workers are surrounded by all the other months of the year.
"Every year leading up to June, I get to sew rainbows on clothes for 86 cents a day instead of just boring Nike logos," said the boy as he worked hard on his 300th Pride T-shirt of the day. "It brightens this place up a lot -- a really nice change of pace."
According to Inesh, the work is a lot easier when you know you're doing it for a good cause: helping affluent white people virtue-signal their support for a woke, inclusive, progressive movement.
"Sometimes, you can question your line of work when you're just making Disney stuff -- it's so cold and corporate, you know?" he said as he sewed a rainbow-colored "LGBTQ RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS" slogan onto another shirt. "But when you're doing it so rich white girls can show their friends how they're on the right side of history -- it makes the 17-hour days all so very worth it."
Inesh then got in trouble for talking and slowing down his productivity, earning himself 15 minutes in "the box."
At publishing time, the boy was preparing to make more "Black Lives Matter" gear for this summer's scheduled riots.