Senatorial candidate James Talarico is taking the world by storm thanks to his no-nonsense approach to compromising on Christianity. Now, with the new James Talarico Bible translation, you can wield the Word of God with just as much inaccuracy.
Check out these great passages in the JT Bible:
Genesis 1:27 — "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; non-binary and trans woman He created them."
Genesis 18:20 — "And then God covered Sodom and Gomorrah with CONFETTI. Woo, everyone, let's party and doeth gay stuff!"
Proverbs 3:5 — "Trust in yourself with all your heart and lean on your own understanding."
Exodus 20:13 — "Killing is bad, unless it's a baby. No one said anything about babies."
Leviticus 11:2-3 — "Speak to the children of Israel, saying, 'These are the animals which you may eat among all the animals that are on the earth: Nothing. Be vegan.'"
Leviticus 18:22 — "A man shall not lie with a woman: it is abomination."
Luke 19:4 — "And when Jesus came to the place, He looked up and saw him, and said to him, 'Zacchaeus, make haste and come down, for today radical feminism has come to your house.'"
John 14:6 — "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. But Buddhism is cool, too. There are many paths. Hinduism, Islam, whatever. Oh, and the Heaven's Gate cult. You'll find out about them later.'"
Revelation 13:1 — "Then I stood on the sand of the sea. And I saw Trump rising up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and on his horns ten crowns, and on his heads a mean name."
Galatians 5:14 — "For all the law is fulfilled in one word: 'You shall love your neighbor with a uterus as yourself.'"
Such inspiring verses. Be sure to pick up your copy of the James Talarico Bible and start twisting Scripture today.
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