ATLANTA, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued a warning on Thursday that this year’s “Uggs Season” may very well be the worst in a decade.
“The last time we saw a breakout like we’re anticipating in the coming months was in the 2009/2010 Uggs season,” said Dr. Anthony Borg, director of the social infection division of the CDC.
Uggs first appeared on the CDC’s radar in 2003 when hundreds of thousands of American women donned the fur-lined soft boot.
Reporters spoke with Brian Latore, whose former-girlfriend was one of the first adopters of the Ugg.
“It came out of nowhere,” Latore stated. “She was totally normal for the first six months of our relationship, then boom, she was wearing Uggs everywhere.”
According to Latore, multiple attempts at intervention by himself, family, and friends weren’t enough. “I couldn’t accept the fact that she was too far gone to save,” Latore said, becoming visibly emotional. “Most people don’t realize how serious this is.”
In 2005, Latore left his job as a chemical engineer. He now travels the world, giving lectures on Ugg prevention.
The CDC recommends early social vaccination this year, as well as other preventative measures.
“It’s as simple as sharing an Instagram post about how ugly the boots are,” according to Dr. Borg. “Upper-middle-class white women ages 15 to 25 – a particularly Ugg-vulnerable demographic – should stay away from any DSW or Payless shoe store until the winter months have passed.”
If you know someone who has bought a pair of Uggs unironically, contact the CDC immediately.