U.S.—According to sources all across the country, a caravan of unborn babies has formed to head toward Alabama in an attempt to avoid the rest of the country's barbaric abortion laws.
The unborn humans, mostly residing in the wombs of pro-choice mothers, learned of the new law as their moms watched CNN and listened to NPR. Each of them would then sneak out of their mom's womb in the middle of the night, slip into a state-of-the-art artificial womb they ordered on Amazon, steal their mother's car, and make a break for the Alabama border.
"All we want is a chance to live the American Dream---or really, just live, to be honest," a spokesfetus said. "Since the rest of the nation is one of the deadliest places to be in the whole world when you're an unborn child, we were forced to come here for the future of our children, so we might live."
"Honestly, as unborn children, it's safer in a third-world country like Venezuela than here."
LIberals quickly criticized the caravan, claiming they were "not people" but "animals."
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.